Podcast: Download
Runtime: 30 Minutes.
Carol’s mom is the artist here and a great example of a lifelong learner. She learned to create art on an iPad in her 80’s. That’s empowering women at any age!
Empowering women through lifelong learning is at the heart of Skirt Strategies. Learning over a lifetime sets the stage for accomplishment, success and dare we say happiness.
Katie and Carol talk about Tip 42 from their book Skirt Strategies: 249 Success Tips for Women in Leadership.
Tip No. 42. Be a lifelong learner.
Skirt Strategies has an essential teaching model that includes ongoing growth. As women, we have a high-awareness of our potential and are constantly facing challenges to personal development. Because of that, we engage more frequently in classes, workshops, and reading self-help.
We love the fact that women are experiential learners and that we reach out to networks that promote self-development.
PODCAST TRANSCRIPTION
Hello and welcome to the Skirt Strategies podcast, the podcast to help you get the support, validation and skills you need to accomplish your goals and really succeed in a male dominated world – all without having to give up your incredible female strengths.
Katie: Our topic today…
Carol: Here we are.
Katie: It’s us. And we’ve got some discussion around something that’s a mentality that all of us should have.
Carol: It is a mentality we all should have. And it’s Tip Number 42 in Skirt Strategies: 249 Success Tips for Women in Leadership.
Katie: So now we’re getting a little farther into that book that has a variety of tips…
This one – we put in the book, Carol. Because we felt like it was an approach to life kind of, an approach to self-development, an approach to how we become better at anything. And that is – to be a lifelong learner.
Carol: Be a lifelong learner.
Katie: Did you have a point in your life where you realized that you didn’t just get your education and then stop?
Carol: It wasn’t the end of it. You got to keep going.
Katie: Yeah.
Carol: I’ve always been kind of a workshop junkie. I love going to workshops and learning.
You know, I don’t care if they’re rehashing old stuff. I always learn something new and it just reminds me.
Katie: You shoot up workshops.
Carol: I do.
Katie: You sniff them.
There’s always something. Even if you were smart – 20 years ago, you can’t just make that smart happen the rest of your life.
Carol: Oh, I heard something the other day and it was about technology. And the kids that are born today – will know more by the time they’re five and we will ever know about technology.
And I thought they were being a little bit disingenuous about how technologically savvy we could be at this age. But they were basically saying, “You’re too old. You can’t do it.”
And you know? You and I are pretty good about keeping up on technology. (You more than me – really.)
But wow! That was kind of sad – to think my five year old grandkid (When I have one, by the way.) Anybody here to give me a grandkid?
Katie: Oh, be careful what you ask for.
Carol: Five daughters and not one grandkid. Sorry, just saying.
Katie: Well, you’ll get there sooner or later.
Carol: I know. But to think that they’re going to be more technically savvy than I am at five, “Yikes! That’s a little bit scary.”
Katie: Well, that’s to me – a promotional statement about being a lifelong learner. It doesn’t have to be about technology.
Carol: No, it doesn’t. But if we lose our constant want to be a lifelong learner in technology, I think we’re going to really lose.
I love the fact that my mother – 83 years old, gets on an iPad every day. And she not only gets on it, but she does artwork with it. She’s pretty fantastic. So I’m very impressed.
Katie: To me, that’s a mentality. She was willing to take the uphill battle, the learning curve towards learning to those sort of things – which isn’t just about technology. But if we talk about technology for just a little while longer, it’s going to prevent you from being more easily trainable if you don’t have that aptitude.
Carol: True.
Katie: And to me, aptitude is a mentality as well.
I mean, my engineering degree was… If I go back and look at what I learned in engineering school – it’s archaic. But at the very heart of it – is the exact same science and it gave me the aptitude to figure stuff out. So kind of know how things work – if I can get around them just a little bit.
So I don’t have so much fear about that. So you know – online learning is not a problem for me, I can figure it out.
Carol: Well, think about it. Most of the women listening to this podcast – have at least a certain degree of technological savvy or they wouldn’t be able to listen to a podcast.
Katie: Right, right. Or they’re reading the transcript because they don’t know how to turn the podcast on. There’s no shame in that.
Carol: There is not. But learn your technology.
Katie: My aunt Skitter is 80 something. She sounds like a character out of the book. Skitter, right?
Carol: Yes, she does.
Katie: She kind of is a character.
My aunt Skitter is 80 something and she does not have a computer. She had one for a while. She’s smart. She’s with it. She’s fun. She’s hip. She has a phone. That’s about it. She has an answering machine – that’s the old tape. She knows how to use her Comcast.
But I was thinking about getting her an iPad that’s completely pre-programmed, easy for use. But then, I’d have to figure out how to get the wireless and blah, blah, blah, she could steal it from a neighbor. She don’t want to have anything to do with it.
Carol: Well, you know? My mother… (Kind of the same thing.) She had a computer and she was just weird with computers. Every time she got a computer, it would just blow up.
Katie: Crap out?
Carol: Yeah, it would crap out. So I said, “Maybe she could learn to use an iPad.” Now, here’s what it takes. It takes her willingness and it took my patience.
And the other thing is – that something somebody told me at the Mac Store one time. He said, “When we first started with computers, you could break them by doing the wrong thing.”
You can’t do that anymore and you can’t do that with an iPad. So when in doubt, always go to your home – which is the button on the side.
So he made it possible for me to teach her. I kept telling her, “You’re not going to break it. Just keep playing with it – until you figure it out.” And she did. And honestly, her artwork… I should put some up on the website.
Katie: You should. Oh, maybe that should be our thumbnail for the podcast.
Carol: That’s what we’ll do. Okay, alright.
Katie: That’s a great idea. Note to self.
Carol: Note to self, moms.
Katie: They are so much more user-friendly. I used to be that. And when the first laptops came out, I had trouble with it. And nobody would go near the laptop and I would break something and I’d try to figure it out because I felt like I could maybe figure it out. But it was a lot of time and a lot of stupid spent time.
Carol: Oh, God! I still worry about saving documents and I don’t think we really had to worry about that for a long time.
Katie: No. So the lifelong learner concept is a mentality. But do you have to know what you want to be learning about? Do you have to have kind of a mental plan of – “My goal in life is to be better at…”
I mean, what are the lifelong learner categories? Self-development, professional development, competitive sports, art, your creative mode…
Carol: Yeah, or history or maybe going back to some of the subjects that you really just loved in high school or college and picking it up again in a way that’s exciting.
I always get the book – The Great Courses.
Katie: They always look fabulous.
Carol: Don’t they? But then it’s 200 hours and no college credit. Not sure I want to do that.
Katie: Oh, yes! I forget. Being a lifelong learner, involves commitment of time.
Carol: Oh, yes. It does.
Katie: Well, damn!
Carol: I know. Oh, that’s not bad. I mean, you’re a lifelong learner if you read. You’re a lifelong learner if you just give your brain something to do.
And one thing that we do… And I think we’re in the lifelong learner development category. You know, we work with…
Katie: Skirt Strategies.
Carol: Yes. We work with professional and personal development, but also lifelong learning.
So our philosophy is really that – you learn better when something is put in front of you on a consistent basis.
Very difficult – you go to a workshop and you get all excited, you come back to your regular work life and it all kind of fades away. You may try to implement one or two things, but you never quite get it implemented the way you would like to.
But our philosophy really is – to put something in front of you, enough that you can try it for a certain amount of time within your work life, within your life, fit it in, see if it works for you and keep going.
Katie: So I’d like our listeners to think right now about what lifelong learning means to them.
Is it that small little pieces? Like what we do with the Skirt Strategies subscription? Is it small dozes that have eventually a bigger impact? Or is it – do you want to go back to school and really just envelop yourself in it? Or is it that – you just want to dabble when you have a minute? Because Lord knows – we won’t have a minute if you don’t plan it.
So I think lifelong learning requires a certain discipline. And that’s to me, starts with – What is your awareness of your potential and kind of a personal goal for what you want to do to tap that potential?
Carol: Right.
Katie: That’s good. That’s those two things. You’re aware of what is the potential and then, what’s the plan to go forward with that potential.
So let’s use me as an example. Okay, what do I think my potential is? I think there’s things that I haven’t done lifelong learning. If we talk about skills or musical skills – I’ve always wanted to play the piano. I played a little bit when I was a kid. And I keep saying to myself, “I’m going to take lessons. I’m going to take lessons.”
It goes back to that difference between urgent and important. And if it’s not urgent, it never happens even if it’s important. Like my husband and I need to write a will. It’s pretty important. It’s never urgent.
Carol: Right. Yeah.
Katie: And now, this is a society where they make things easier. You know, walk in wheels or you do it something online. It’s a lot easier than it used to be. So you’re more likely to get it off of your list – because you can go get it done.
Carol: Right.
Katie: This is where you and I use forcing functions to get things done.
Carol: We do. But you know what? Part of lifelong learning is – learning what helps you get things done.
Katie: Learning how you work.
Carol: Yeah. Do you need a deadline? Do you need to create a false deadline in order to get something done?
Katie: Yes.
Carol: And if you have a bucket list of things you want to learn – Do you then figure out what it is that’s going to help you get through that bucket list?
Katie: I like the bucket list approach.
Carol: Yeah, we actually had that on one of our previous podcasts.
Katie: We talked about the bucket list?
Carol: Yeah.
Katie: Oh, news to me.
Carol: Well, you and I talked about that.
Katie: Lifelong learning also involves remembering what you’ve learned and what you’ve said in previous podcasts.
There’s a term that I picked up from – I think it was from Wilson Learning, Be Teachable. Listen to learn and be teachable.
I love the “be teachable” concept. If you’ve ever worked with anyone that was a little bit resistive or every time you suggested something, they’d say, “Well, yeah. But… That’s not. That’s right. I did it this way instead.”
I mean, it’s okay. They think they’re communicating back to you. But in reality, they’re pushing back.
Carol: Pulling you down.
Katie: What sort of openness do you have – when people are talking to you about learning and teaching in ideas and concepts that they put forth in front of you? Are you the type of person that…?
Because you could be analytical or critical in a positive way, (if there is such thing) you test things out. So your first reaction to a lot of things is, “Well, I don’t know if that’s right – because…”
Carol: Right. So you sound a little bit negative when things are first put through your process. And does that shut down the entire conversation?
Katie: Well, look at yourself in the mirror, listen to yourself when you’re talking to others and ask yourself if you do – do that.
I know a significant number of people that do that. I also know that what’s behind it often is – a sense of, “Well, I want to make sure that what I’m hearing is right.”
Carol: Right, and if it fits for me.
Katie: Yeah. So the intent is – they’re not trying to be a pass or a pill (as my mom would say). “You’re such a pill.” “No, I’m not trying to be a pill.” They’re really trying to get it right.
Carol: Exactly. Well, it’s interesting. When you asked that question – I was thinking, “I’m much more resistant to things in the evening.” After a certain time, I just shut down kind of.
I love brainstorming in the morning. I mean, that’s really where I’m good. And then, I love writing in the afternoon.
Katie: So you know yourself. And then, you’re drinking. And everything is done after that.
Carol: And then, I’m done. I just thought, “Yeah, I don’t want to brainstorm. I don’t want to talk about things.” I kind of burn myself out during the day.
Katie: Well, you have to be able to tap what you can. But there’s also this level of discipline.
I’m working on the new book right now that’s coming along. But to be able to write – takes a creative mindset. And it takes a mentality of – “Oh, if I’m going to sit down, can I just pound something out? Or does it mean I have to sit down and then I’ve got to do a little research?”
And of course, “Don’t get me doing research – because then I start checking email or looking at something different or watching a YouTube video.” And now, nothing is being done.
That discipline is so critical. Lifelong learning takes a certain level of discipline. I think the fun part though is mapping out what it is that you want to do and listening to yourself. How open you are – when things do come across your table or your desk or your kitchen counter? That’s an opportunity for you. Is that something you want to take and run with?
You know when you get an email that it’s offering a class? My girlfriend, Kellie Joe does a painting – Wine by Design.
Carol: Oh, I love those. God! We got to go back.
Katie: And every time I’m there, (I’ve been there three or four times.) I sit there and there’s just this artistic side that comes out of me that it feels like it’s tapping into an energy that doesn’t get tapped often enough.
Carol: Right.
Katie: I think lifelong learning does that force – developing an artsy or a creative side or delving into something that’s relatively new.
Coaching. You know when I first started coaching – I had a colleague that would coach me. So as a coaching client, I got the feel for what it was. And then, a few years later, I’ve got a coaching certification.
And that was a big learning event for me, because suddenly I was doing a whole new concept of service delivery to my clients.
Carol: Right. Because you had been doing the front of the classroom type training and they have to listen. Because I think, naturally you’re a talker.
Katie: Yeah. I’m not a listener. That’s a nice way of saying it, Carol.
Naturally, you’re a talker. And in the classroom, there’s a lot of telling. And people will sit and obediently listen. But if they’re paying for a coaching session, they expect to have some of the air time.
Carol: Yeah.
Katie: I had a potential client (a woman that’s in a leadership position) and I had been in a talk that I had given to a small group of businesswomen in this community.
I mean, we’re talking like 10 or 12 people at the most. And she was one of those people. And I have had some connections with her in a community project, so I knew her. I didn’t know her well, but I knew her. Her background is technical. I think she’s also an engineer.
So I’m just saying that she’s got that critical way of looking at things – the engineer’s way of looking at things.
I followed up with her after the talk because we were running (you and I were running a promo on coaching at the time.) So I offered it to her. “You know, we’ve got this going on.” And her response back…
You know, if someone is really not into it, I’m so fine with it. It’s got to be a personal decision. But her response back was – “Why would I talk to somebody about my career advancement or issues that I have in professional development who I don’t even know?”
Carol: Interesting.
Katie: I was a little bit insulted. Not personally, but…
Carol: Well, I mean, maybe she has enough mentors and other people in her life that she doesn’t feel is a need for that. I don’t think there are enough people out there like that.
Katie: Well, there is a role of girlfriend and she did mention it. She said, “I’ve got a lot of friends that I would do that for – before I would pay somebody.” And I thought, “I have a lot of girlfriends that I talk to.”
Carol: Right.
Katie: You know, you’re one of them. And we’ll get into something and then I can get some honest feedback from them.
And in a lot of situations, that’s a great fit. But for many situations that have to do with professional development or I need to think through something or I need someone to give me some listening skills tip, my girlfriends – they’ve got ideas, but it’s not like going to a professional that’s going to be able to tell me, “Here’s a great way of doing a conflict management technique. Here’s a great way of setting your goals and leading others through their goals.”
Carol: Right. And the other problem with girlfriends is – they’re going to agree with you.
Katie: And they’re always going to…
Carol: Yeah, whether you’re right or not.
Katie: Right.
Carol: And sometimes you need somebody with a little bit more perspective.
Katie: And objectivity.
Carol: That is just going to agree with you, if you’re not right.
Katie: And I love the girlfriends because they’re very rewarding.
Carol: Yeah, love it and we use it, but every once in a while, a coach is nice.
Katie: Yeah. I just love the way girlfriends will say, “I cannot believe she did that. She did that? She said that? Oh!” And so, I feel completely justified. I’m like, “Yeah!”
Carol: That’s right. I know!
Katie: Then we tossed names. We don’t tell people names behind their backs. But we do talk about behaviors.
Here at Skirt Strategies, we’re very objective.
Carol: We are completely objective.
Katie: I think one of our tips was about gossip – I remember that. And the difference between talking about someone in gossip.
Carol: It’s all the same.
Katie: It depends on what you’re saying.
You know, my category about gossip is – it about what they’re doing, how they did it or who they are. And it’s out of bounds if it’s about who they are.
Carol: Sure.
Katie: And that’s where judgment or words come in and, “Oh, you know she’s a bitch because she’s had three husbands.”
Carol: Well, it’s the same as disciplining somebody and using them as the… It’s about their behavior, it’s not about them.
Katie: Right. It’s about what they did, not what their intent was or what their values are.
Carol: Right.
Katie: So how do you think women learn differently than others?
Carol: Oh, you mean men?
Katie: Yeah, the other species.
Carol: You know it’s interesting. Because I actually have noticed in the past few years and so is my husband for that matter. We’ve noticed that there’s many more women that – number one, feel like they have to get the master’s degree or the PHD. And number two, there’s more women in workshops.
Katie: Right. Unless the workshop has the title Executive in it.
Carol: Oh, is that right?
Katie: Or the word Executive in the title.
Carol: Okay.
Katie: And then you can charge twice as much and a bunch of stodgy men show up.
Carol: Oh! Well, we certainly won’t be doing that at Skirt Strategies.
Katie: We’ll take their money.
Carol: But I don’t think we’ll be looking for them.
You know it’s interesting. And I have a bias about women going on and getting their master’s degrees. And I’ll get some push backs and that’s okay. Write me – carol@skirtstrategies.
Katie: Colorado.
Carol: You know, I think as women – we come out of college and we think, “I don’t know enough. I can’t go on and do this job because I don’t have the knowledge.”
That’s not true. All jobs, no matter what you’re walking into – are really about on the job training, on the job knowledge.
Katie: Almost exclusively.
Carol: And maybe in engineering – not so much. You need to have some basic engineering, but…
Katie: Well, there’s some technical.
Carol: You know, I know women who go back and get their master’s degree in communications because they didn’t feel like they knew enough about it.
I don’t think it really helped them when they got into the job market. I think the job takes you through what you’re going to need to know – as much as another degree takes you through that and maybe even more so.
Katie: Which is where the learning mentality is important.
Carol: Yes. So on the job training – is where you’re going to get to know what that job is about. Don’t feel like you have to go back and to get the master’s degree. But go back and get it if it’s very, very interesting to you. Don’t think you need it to justify who you are and other things.
Katie: I have seen people behave in a way where they were sauntering around because they had the PHD or the master’s degree. And they’re resting their worlds completely on that – rather than their capability and their interpersonal dynamics and their ability to connect with other people.
Carol: Yeah, I’ve got a degree. I don’t have to do the work now.
Katie: Sure. There could be a little danger with that – I suppose.
Carol: Yeah. So I don’t know what I’m really trying to say.
Katie: What are you trying to say?
Carol: I’m really just trying to validate women for the knowledge that they already have and let you know that you’re not necessarily going to get the rest of that knowledge going back to school, stick with the job, see how it works out, if you like it, if you love it, if you don’t, then get out of it –do something else.
Katie: I wonder how many women that listen to us – love what they do. And watching you and I have – collectively four daughters in college.
Carol: Right. And I have three out of college now.
Katie: And I have a stepdaughter out of college. So if we look at where they’re going. You know, I’m kind of reliving my college years.
Carol: Through them?
Katie: Not the party part. Although, I do hear about that too.
Carol: The sorority part.
Katie: Where they’re getting their degrees, where they’re deciding. You know, one is a junior and you both have juniors and my other one is a sophomore. Figuring out what they want to major in.
I’m trying to guide them, but I’m also trying to let them go with their heart.
Carol: Right.
Katie: I’m assuming that they get enough exposure to the school – kind of takes them through that – “What color is your parachute type exercise?” I don’t think that they really do that.
Carol: No, they don’t.
Katie: I think they have to figure it out for themselves.
I dropped in engineering by a complete fluke because I had advanced points in a placement in Math and Science.
And so, a placement person just dropped me into it. “Oh, let’s put you in pre-engineering.” I wasn’t very aware.
Carol: Well, but it was. I mean, honestly if you look back now – it was where your strengths were, it was where you were excelling, look like you probably did very well at that.
Katie: “Why not keep her in it.” I understand.
Carol: Yeah. And probably, for you – looking back, it was a great experience, it was a great place to be.
Katie: But I’m not sure I ever had a conversation with myself or somebody leading me through a conversation that’s – “Let’s think about where this is going to put you, career-wise.”
Carol: Right.
Katie: And I ended up going in a career in engineering and I loved it. And of course, I’m not in it anymore – which says something right there, but I love the fact that I was a little bit different. I stuck out – maybe in a good way.
So let’s take that lesson learned when I was 20 something. Be aware. Be self-knowledgeable of what you’re doing and where you’re spending your time.
Carol: Yeah.
Katie: Now what’s that look like for us as adults? Be aware. Be knowledgeable of what you’re doing with your time.
Do you have time built in your schedule for that bucket list? Do you make sure that you get three days a month where you’re getting some extensive learning or some…?
Carol: Mental stimulation.
Katie: Yes. Not just physical and other things.
Carol: Where are you going with that? Don’t go there.
Katie: I don’t know.
Carol: No, but it’s true. I think we need to think of ourselves as lifelong learners and then we need to figure out what that looks like for us.
Katie: Yes.
Carol: And I think we do very well. And you and I do that – just keeping up with some of the stuff that we’re doing with Skirt Strategies.
Katie: You and I decided to have Skirt Strategies in a couple of different training pieces – to offer training in two different ways.
One of them being – standalone webinars, video blogs that have tips and training in them. And then the small, tiny trainings with big results – which is the weekly small item. The weekly membership.
Carol: Right, right.
Katie: And I find that women just gravitate to one of the other based on what they can do.
I look at my inbox and I think, “Do you embrace your inbox?” I’m going somewhere with this. “Do you embrace your inbox and the opportunities that are in it or do you push back because it’s too much junk?”
Carol: Oh, yeah.
Katie: And a lot of times, I’ll get those offers of – “Attend to class. We’ve got a speaker coming to the AMA this month.”
Those are lifelong learning type opportunities and you can look at them one of two ways like, “Oh, look at what they’re offering. Oh, they’re quit throwing junk in my mailbox.”
Carol: Right. Well, I’m sorry. On those kind of things, I look at them as opportunities.
I don’t always look at them, but when they come through at a time that my mind is open to it…
Katie: Right.
Carol: I was at a workshop just two days ago – learning about some of the stuff we do – the email marketing and stuff, social media, all of that.
Katie: Good to know.
Carol: Yeah. “How do you do that? How do you do that well?” So I’m a lifelong learner and I’d like to say something.
Katie and I just decided that we were going to start doing webinars regularly and we are going to call them – and we are going to do them on Wednesday evenings. And we’re calling them, Wine Wednesday Webinars. Oh, oh! How fun!
Katie: Because there is no rule that you can’t listen to or watch a webinar without a glass of wine.
Carol: That’s right.
Katie: Unless you work for the government and you’re doing it at your desk or while you’re driving.
Carol: And here’s the thing. Because you don’t have to, you can go home and…
Katie: Watch it later.
Carol: Listen. So the fun thing about this too – is that we were trying to figure out different time zones. How do we get different time zones together? Well, how about in the evening? Maybe that’s a better time for women just to curl up with a good webinar. How fun!
So we’re going to try it. And we invite you to go onto our website and figure out what the next Wine Webinar Wednesday is.
Katie: Love it! I think it’s funny that we complain about our inbox or email. And it’s so easy with a click to just get rid of junk mail. We complain more about that than what comes into our actual mailbox – the physical mailbox.
Carol: Yeah.
Katie: And we get more excited about what comes in the physical mailbox. And we turn around and throw it away – which takes probably four times as long, ten times as long, lots longer than clicking a delete.
Carol: Sure.
Katie: But there’s something about the mental baggage of your inbox – the electronic baggage.
Carol: Yeah. Well, when I look at my Gmail and it’s got 12,000 unread messages, it’s like, “Shoot! I should probably get rid of some of those.”
Katie: Delete, delete, delete, delete.
Carol: Right.
[MUSIC PLAYS]
Katie: Okay. But you know? Lifelong learner is something that I think we can learn from one another and continue to do mentally. I’m up for it and this is giving me a little bit of insight as to how to go forward.
That’s it for this episode of the Skirt Strategies podcast. Thank you for joining us. And please be sure to leave a question or comment at skirtstrategies.com. Remember that success comes when you lead using your natural female strengths.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]