The secret to being tough … without being a you-know-what
People say “hey how come a man can be tough and be called effective yet a woman is called something else if she is tough?”
The key is this …. your tone.
Women are more likely to be emotionally charged, which can be such a good thing, but it creeps into our language when we least want it to and can color our words in a less-productive way. When directness is condescending or mean, it easily comes off as crossing a line.
Try listening to your tone and the genuineness of your words. Put the words “care” and “non-punishing” in your head (actually say them to yourself) while speaking. If it fits your personality, use humor when delivering a tough message, but maintain the assertiveness of it.
And a last tip. Do you know anyone who does the tough-female role well? If so, use her as a role model when crafting your dialogs with others. What would she say? How would she approach it? You can still be yourself while taking on techniques that your role model uses. She’d be flattered.