More On Communication (not Moron Communication, but that may work too)

More On communication…

In the consulting industry we have this “clever” little saying: Feedback is a gift.   You might say that falls into that category with Bless her Heart, giving the communicator carte blanche to say whatever.

I love this one too, from a friend of mine who is famous for couching his opinions before blasting others: “Now I don’t mean this as a criticism, but was that green dress just horrible on Janice at the party?”

I have to laugh. How is that not a criticism? Just positioning it ahead of time doesn’t really mean you have reverse-defined it as a criticism. These examples represent big barriers to communication.

People just don’t know how to give constructive feedback. And we really don’t know how to give flattering feedback often enough.

First, labeling it well can be a boon.  We respond to more positive descriptions. So I suggest you call your positive feedback reinforcing feedback, and the negative feedback corrective feedback.  You may have to just go with me on that one. This means of communication can make your life as a leader a bit easier. Try it.

When a feedback comment is delivered in a genuine way and with context, it can be powerful.

Try adding context to your feedback
Give context to your feedback.  To do this, tie it to a goal that the other person is shooting for.

Example:

Reinforcing Feedback Sample Dialog

Jim, I know you’ve been working on your interaction skills with clients through clearer communication.    (Goal)

You did a terrific job listening to the problem that difficult customer was dumping on you earlier today. Nice job.    (Your observation)

Can you share a few tips with the rest of the team at the staff meeting tomorrow?     (Optional action)

Corrective Feedback Sample Dialog

Carol, I know you’ve been working on building stronger relationships with your co-workers.     (Goal)

I overheard some conflict between you and Paul yesterday.    (Your observation)

What do you think was at the heart of it?    (Give the opportunity to hear her side)

Let’s you and I review some good approaches you can try next time. I have a few ideas for you.    (Leave her with an action)

Do you have the guts to do this? If not, your value as an effective leader may be no more than someone talking to a chair, something popular these days.

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