Little milestones: a daughter’s confidence

Last night my youngest child took the car out to visit a haunted house with friends. She is 16, the youngest of two, and this was her first after-dark adventure.

When she came home at 9:15, there was a noticeable difference in her. She appeared composed, confident, and just a notch or two more mature than when she had left.  She had experienced her first big taste of independence.

Small factors that affect our lives affect our behavior. A subtle look of approval from a client can cause an enduring sense of capability in us simply because we are reminded of what we do well. An effectively run day sends us the message that we are good at what we do. A thank-you or testimonial from a co-worker can provide simple proof to you that you are on top of it. Wouldn’t it be nice if we didn’t need others for that validation?

There’s a technique called anchoring, which pulls forth from your past a time when you felt something positive or did something well. Often if you can mentally recreate the situation, you can re-live the feeling and reactions. You did it once, why not remember it to help you out? I encourage women to stay away from beating themselves up and instead focus on your strengths. Anchoring is an effective way of finding a positive.

Confidence is an important factor for each of us as leaders. When combined with a decent dose of competence, we have the fundamental makings for success, and more importantly we send the message to others that we are effective leaders.

By the way – I still get a little excited each time I am on the highway to the airport for an outbound trip. Seems you are never too old for a sense of independence.