You know the situation … someone in the meeting seems to be skirting an issue (NOT a la Skirt Strategies). They are vague or have an underlying intent. Could even be a hidden agenda. Let’s pull it outta them!
Here is an approach to manage it.
SITUATION:
All kinds of non-verbals are observed and inferences are made during a meeting. Conversations that take place in the meeting are ineffective, or only scratch the surface. Your average colleague does not have to be a difficult person to be a poor communicator. We are all guilty!
There is no courage to discuss the REAL issue.
TRY THIS:
Illuminate what we call the conversation BEHIND the conversation.
1. Listen at 3 levels for the REAL conversation
what intent do you hear?
what feelings do you hear?
what content do you hear?
Adapted from Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott. Highly recommended!
2. Acknowledge your observation
Various issues could be at play here. Put your view into words.
Examples:
“Assignments are not getting completed between meetings.”
“Theresa does not understand what her tasking is.”
“The group does not seem bought-in to the new method.”
“I feel a discomfort in the room about that decision.”
“Many people look confused over that last discussion.”
3. Ask an open question
Toss it back to the meeting leader or the person in question. Let him process your observation.
“What is the root issue here?”
“What would be some ways to eliminate that lack of understanding?”
“Is that the way you see it too?”
“Can someone articulate what is not working well?”
“What steps do we need to revisit for clarity?”
See also Communication Quick Tips in the Video Blog