Think your mood is under control? Let’s assume so, but we will discuss the driving factors behind self-management of your mood.
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Carol: Hi! I’m Carol.
Katie: Hi everyone! I’m Katie Snapp.
Carol: Well, this month we’d be talking about your mood.
Katie: Shut up!
Carol: You’re moody.
Katie: I’m kidding. Here at Hot Flash, we have lots of moods in Hot Flash and we thought maybe it’d be useful for our followers to learn a little something about managing those moods.
Carol: Yes. And it’s really important in the workplace. And we’ll talk a little bit more about that in a little…
Katie: Oh, especially with leadership.
Carol: It is.
Katie: And we’ll talk about how important it is with that.
Carol: Yes.
Katie: Well, let me get everyone lined up with understanding where moodiness and managing might fit into your world – because I would bet that you have incidence where you’re grappling with it just a bit. So Carol, what would be an example of you managing a mood or needing to?
Carol: Well, I was thinking about it. And I actually have an example from either last week or the week before.
I came in to work and I had something specific I had to get done. Nobody else there knew it and they were irritating me because they needed my attention, but I needed to get this done. So I didn’t manage that very well.
Katie: Okay. So let’s use an example. Skirt Strategists – follow along with us. Think about an example where you would like to put yourself, place yourself, manage that mood just a little better.
Carol: Right.
Katie: And even though you might be thinking you’re managing your mood just really well – What would the outside world say?
Carol: Right.
Katie: My husband likes to say… when I get moody, he calls it irritable. And he’ll actually use the word, “You seem a little irritable.” Which just puts me in a worse mood.
I said to him once – “You know how much irritable I feel? I feel this much and I feel like I’m showing you this much.” And so his eyes got real big because he’s like, “I’m only seeing that much?” I’m like, “Hey. I’m controlling it. You want to be happy.”
Carol: “Watch out dude.”
Katie: I thought he was doing really well and then he calls me irritable.
Carol: Right.
Katie: So this is an exercise to increase your productivity when you do find yourself moody. It’s called – “The Structured Inquiry.”
Carol: Okay.
Katie: There’s five steps.
Carol: And you’re going to take me through.
Katie: I’m going to take you through. You’re my victim.
Carol: Okay.
Katie: What I want you to do first – Let’s say, visualize yourself by the way, in the situation. Maybe it’s your desk – you’ve closed your door for just a few minutes. I want you to sit and be comfortable. Take a deep breath.
Carol: Right.
Katie: Step Number 1: I want you to take an internal point of reference. You know what I mean by that?
Carol: Like going to myself and…
Katie: Yeah. You’re kind of just internalizing a bit to where you’re… Here I am.
Carol: Okay. Yeah.
Katie: If you’re looking out from that point of reference.
Carol: Yeah.
Katie: Number 2: I want you to register the emotion. Just register it.
Carol: Alright.
Katie: You’re not going to label it yet. I want you to just feel it.
Carol: Okay.
Katie: You’re knowing it’s happening. It’s part of what was your initial trigger. Now, that’s step Number 2.
Step Number 3: I want you to recognize and distinguish the specific feeling. What’s it doing to you?
Carol: Okay. So I was overly busy, people pulling on me and it came out as – “Everybody, leave me alone. I’ve got to get this done.” And instead of saying that in a way that would’ve been nice, I said it in a way that was nasty.
Katie: Okay. Now that’s a good transition. So you’re internal, you register it, you see it as a specific feeling, it’s happening – maybe a certain part of your body, maybe you’re anxious there or you’re stressed there, whatever it is. You’re really kind of checking in with it.
Carol: Right.
Katie: Step 4: Label it.
Carol: Okay. So I want to say irritable.
Katie: You could be irritable too.
Carol: Okay. Yeah, I know.
Katie: We could be irritable together.
Carol: “Everybody! Leave me alone! I’ve got stuff to do.”
Katie: Okay. So you would say, “I am irritable.” Alright? And then last of all… Now let me check in on this because the last step is really feeling like I’m close to mastering it. How does it feel?
And you’re not in the space right now, but let’s assume that you were sitting at your desk. Can you sense how progressive that would be? Would it be helpful to you to get through that or those four steps?
Carol: Oh, okay. Yes, yes.
Katie: Yeah. You’re not progressive to something worse than irritable.
Carol: No.
Katie: Progressing with the managing of your irritability.
Carol: Yes. And if I didn’t manage it, it would progress to worse.
Katie: Workplace violence or…? I hope not.
Carol: Going postal or something like that.
Katie: Yeah. So that’s where you would really take the final step and say, “I’m irritable. Here’s what’s causing it. Here’s what’s feeling like. I now feel like I can master it and put it in its place.”
Carol: Yeah. Okay. I like that.
Katie: I like those five steps.
Carol: Very.
Katie: There’s lots of tips we have for managing moods here at Skirt Strategies.
Carol: There are. And let me just say that one of the reasons you want to do this is because as a leader…
Katie: I’m not advocating one, but…
Carol: As a leader, it’s really important that you not be moody. People take it personally. And I don’t care who you are in team, in a workplace – you can be just a team member. And if you’re moody, people take it personally. They think they’ve done something to create this in you or you wouldn’t be treating them the way you are.
Katie: Well, that’s true.
Carol: So understand that as a leader, you need to be self-composed and really never moody.
Katie: Well, that’s why I think it’s so important. I think my friends at mentor path who gave me this five step approach – Doctor Kruger. Because recognizing it – it’s a sign of maturity, first of all.
Carol: Sure.
Katie: And I’m not sure I always have the maturity around me to be able to say I’m reining that feeling in. But it does help to be able to have a process for composing yourself. It’s so important.
Carol: Yes.
Katie: How many times have you walked away from a situation? You feel like you’re dumped or you’re irritable or you barked at someone. And you let down the road, an hour later, a day later, you really regret it.
Carol: Right. And you need to have a way to get through that with them as well.
Katie: That’s why we’re here.
Carol: Yeah. And part of it is finding it in yourself, realizing what you’ve done. The other part is going back and apologizing for it.
Katie: So we have 11 tips for managing your mood. We’ll share some of them with you on the website as well. But those of you that are Skirt Strategies monthly subscribers – you know who you are. But we want all of you. We want to build our tribe, we want followers.
Carol: Yeah – everybody.
Katie: And for $8 a month – which is pretty damn cheap. We’ll hold you accountable, we’ll send you a Monday Morning Detox – which is a focus for the week to set forth your intent with clarity and a set of goal.
Carol: Which gives you a little bit more in depth thought process to the monthly topic.
Katie: Right.
Carol: So this monthly topic is dealing with your moods. So you’ll get more on moodiness.
Katie: Yeah. You will get that and you will get a little challenge and you also have an online form of women who think alike and mood alike to talk with.
Carol: And drink alike.
Katie: I think there is a commonality there. But again, we’re not advocating.
Carol: We’re not.
Katie: But out next retreat is going to be at a winery.
Carol: At the dance.
Katie: Don’t you think that’s a good idea?
Carol: We should. We absolutely should.
Katie: Yeah. Well, please write in – for those of you that want to come with us.
I think that’s it for this week.
Carol: Absolutely.
Katie: Okay. We’ll see you next month.
[END OF TRANSCRIPT]
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