Not to be confused with THE CHANGE … but the aspect of change in our life as leaders. It’s a little tricky.
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Carol: Hi! I’m Carol.
Katie: And I’m Katie. Welcome to Skirt Strategies! Another installment…
Carol: And what is this month?
Katie: This month is actually – it’s something that I know all of you have issues with.
We’re going to talk about a little bit different angle on it. And it’s “Dealing with Change.” Managing change, dealing with change, what it looks like.
Carol: Difficult to do, but possible.
Katie: And I’ve gone through a couple of different trainings and I do a lot of training on managing change. And I brought along with us – something that comes from biology.
Carol: Oh!
Katie: The Change Curve or called The S Curve. It comes out of anything organic you can apply it to.
Carol: Alright.
Katie: And it looks like what’s behind us there.
Carol: Like vegetables, right? Organic vegetables?
Katie: Oh, in a way. I know you’re teasing. Cut it out!
Carol: Just kidding. I can’t handle it.
Katie: And it applies at being organic because if you think about anything that’s alive, it goes through the cycles of change, right?
Carol: Okay. Yes.
Katie: Vegetables – you plant them, they have growth in the spring, they die back in the fall and they hibernated in the winter, right?
Carol: Okay.
Katie: Same thing with people, same thing with teams, same thing with organizations, same things with your life.
Carol: Change happens, right?
Katie: Yes.
Carol: So get used to it and learn how to deal with it.
Katie: Yeah. And that’s the end of it.
Carol: Yeah.
Katie: Well, it’s got its ups and downs. And what I find interesting about the change curve is that you can’t really predict change. But did you know that there’s an aspect of it that is predictable?
Carol: Okay. Tell me about that.
Katie: And you will see why. How could you say change is predictable?
Carol: That’s right.
Katie: The fact that it’s going to ebb and flow is predictable.
Carol: Right.
Katie: You don’t know what that ebb is. You don’t know what that flow is. But when you kind of see it coming, it’s funny that we just resist it.
But actually, we have these ups and downs that when we’re in the middle of them, we’re kind of lost in why it’s an up or a down – instead of, this is part of the natural cycle of nature, of life or of our own lives or of our team or of our business.
Carol: Right. And interestingly, we just went through an exercise with some of our workshop folks and we were looking at the ups and downs of their life. And really, I think what they learned is how much they learned on those downs.
Katie: Yeah.
Carol: So they work really all that. You would still mark them as a down in your life, but the things you learn from them was really critical.
Katie: I think taking inventory of that every once in a while, looking back at what your downs were. Almost everybody can say, “That was a really crappy time.”
Carol: Talk to me about the escrow of those.
Katie: That’s the down.
Carol: Thank you.
Katie: It that what that was a fit into?
Carol: Yeah.
Katie: That’s the down part. And during that down part – when you’re looking backwards respectively, you realize – “I really grew out of that. Pain leads to growth. I really learned how to be stronger. I tested my strengths or tested my resolve.” But when you’re in the middle of it – what does it feel like?
Carol: Pain.
Katie: Yeah. That’s probably maybe the first lesson.
And look back at those downside. Maybe you’re in the middle of one right now – being able to articulate what it is and how you’re responding to it is really critical. But when you’re in the middle of it – can you kind of label it?
Carol: Yeah. And how much better is it – if you can label it? So what are the labels? How do you label your depression?
Katie: Crappy, bad – whatever it might be.
Well, first of all – here’s what I would recommend our Skirt Strategists. For those of you that think you can learn from managing your change just a little bit better. First of all, when you are in the midst of a change – maybe it’s a good part.
Carol: Right.
Katie: This is a productive part – maybe it’s a good part. But when you’re in the middle of it, the first part is –acknowledge it. Recognize that you’re going through something. And that sounds so…
Carol: Duh.
Katie: But you know what? When you got caught up in it?
Carol: You don’t recognize it and you don’t give it a name. You don’t say, “Look. This is change. It’s a little bit painful. It’s just upsetting right now.”
Katie: You wallow in it.
Carol: Yeah.
Katie: You also find that it is something that happened outside of your control most of the time.
And if you think about a downtime that you’ve had – As an easy example of going through a divorce which I know many people can relate to. And that isn’t necessarily something you don’t have at least some influence over. So that’s probably not a good example. But in your career…
Carol: I wasn’t sad.
Katie: For the record. But for your career, the things that are ups and downs or if you’re in a business that is driven by a marketer or a competitor or…
Carol: Yeah. When things and changing. And right now, things are… It seems like we’ve been in a low for a long time in this economy. But that’s just change and that’s a part of what’s going on.
Katie: Right.
Carol: So you want us to label it.
Katie: Acknowledge it first. Recognize what’s going on. And like I said, it doesn’t seem like it’s really… but it could be a big Aha – just acknowledge it. And then manage your response to it. What is it that you’re responding with? And I would almost say label it.
Carol: Yeah.
Katie: Are you hiding under the table? Because a lot of people withdraw during change and you’re finding you’re avoiding. Maybe avoiding works for you in some ways. Are you attacking it? I find that in change – I try to make things happen. I like action.
Carol: Let’s get through it.
Katie: And often, it’s not towards addressing the change, it’s towards just making anything happen. Maybe it’s to keep my mind off of it.
Carol: Right.
Katie: How do you address change?
Carol: I usually try to label it and move through it because I want to get through it as fast as possible, get to the other side and let’s see what we can do here.
Katie: Okay. So you probably like action too.
Carol: Yeah.
Katie: But there are many of us that will retreat.
Carol: Resist.
Katie: Yeah. Many that just become angry or frustrated. A lot of us get disoriented. It depends on the change obviously.
Carol: Sure.
Katie: But disorientation is very common. You’re filled with questions. You don’t know where to start. What’s your life look like now? What’s your job look like now?
Carol: Oh, true. Yeah. Think about a loss of a job or something that happens to you and you don’t have a way to deal with it. So first of all, label it then try to manage a way through it.
Katie: Right.
Carol: And a lot of times, you’re going to fall back on those ways that you’ve always managed, right?
Katie: I would say that we’re pretty good at pulling out our strengths when we’re tested.
Carol: Right.
Katie: The problem would be is – do we do it to such a degree that we overdo it? Like if you’re very good at being self-managed. Do you tend to over control or do you go into a mode where you’ve got tunnel vision and you’re not looking at anything different because you’re so focused on controlling to making things happen?
Carol: Right. So be careful not to get into some of those modes that you’ve gone into before that you know don’t work for you. If it works for you, then go into it. But if it’s going to throw you into deep depression, you really don’t want to do that if you’re managing.
Katie: Yeah. And then the third piece I would say is – (you articulated this really well, Carol) move yourself forward by setting the vision.
Sometimes that beautiful ship out on the ocean at a distance that you want to swim towards seems like it’s really far away, but imagine being there and getting there.
Carol: Right. And really do envision yourself in a different situation if that’s what you want or envision yourself moving through this gracefully, beautifully…
Katie: Without a lot of pain?
Carol: Suffering. Yes. It’s not a lot of stuff going on.
Katie: How can we be relating to all of you with pain and suffering?
Carol: Yes.
Katie: I don’t know. It’s kind of depressing.
Carol: Well, that’s okay. Sometimes that’s what change is because it is painful.
Katie: I will say that when you’re in the middle of that change, sometimes it feels like you’re never going to get through it. It feels like it’s going to take forever.
Carol: Yes. And just remember back to some of those other painful times in your life that you have gotten through and you are a better person because of it.
Katie: Yes. Well, let’s leave it there.
Carol: Okay.
Katie: And I think what we’ll do with our monthly subscribers – those of you that are our monthly subscribers, know that we have a fabulous, weekly, Monday Morning Detox. So if you’re not a monthly subscriber, we will state that we have gone down to $8 a month.
Carol: $8 a month for Skirt Strategies monthly subscription. Yes.
Katie: And to do with that, we will hold you accountable weekly on some sort of feminine leadership skill. This week, it has to do with self-management through change.
We will give you something to assess, something to drive yourself forward and keep you right on the front of making yourself accountable. We like that.
And that’s all for this time.
Carol: Yes. That’s good.
Katie: Okay. More to come if you’re a member and hopefully you will be.
Carol: Thank you much.
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