Let’s just solve world hunger while we are at it! Big Topic! And we get into just a few areas in order to keep your effective communication fine-tuned, like changing the dialog into a question. Join the conversation with Katie & Carol about ongoing leadership needs for women in positions of influence and improved workplace communication.

 

PODCAST TRANSCRIPTION

 

Carol: And Carol Wight.

Katie: I said that kind of fast. I’m Katie Snapp. This is Skirt Strategies for August.

Carol: Katie Snappy.

Katie: Snappy Katie. And we have a really good topic this month. We are talking about Communications.

Carol: Communicating.

Katie: Don’t talk like that when you’re…

Carol: Well, if you’re having fun, have fun.

Katie: Yes. Women are good communicators though.

Carol: We are.

Katie: So we’ll probably have occasional topics, occasional months where we dig a little more deeply in (suddenly I can’t talk) communications – because it’s a vast area.

I have several classes that I teach on because it’s fun and it’s something you can practice and learn immediately.

Carol: Yes. And there is a lot of information out there and we know them.

Katie: Right. One area (I kind of squeaked) that is great for leaders, horribly underuse – is the use of questioning skills.

Carol: Oh, yeah. That’s a great one.

Katie: Especially if you are the type of leader that tends to roll over other people. Translating your statements into questions can be very powerful.

There’s a technique for team development called, “Action Learning Teams” where all you do is you’re either asking a question or you’re in the process of answering the question that somebody else has asked.

Carol: Very nice.

Katie: I thought that would be cool.

Carol: Yeah.

Katie: And I find that it draws out the other person more.

Here’s an example. Here’s a real life home example…

At our house, my husband likes to sleep during the summer with the bedroom, cold, dark windows drawn or drapes drawn – which is nice, it’s the cave effect for sleeping, right?

I – however, like to have open fresh air. I don’t like it to be too hot. But by the morning – where we live, it’s always nice and fresh and cool in the morning. I like to have fresh morning air.

So my tendency is to say, “I want to have the window open at night. How does that work for you?”

Carol: [Inaudible][0:01:54.6] defensive. I don’t know about you. Your husband probably loves it though.

Katie: He’s a [Inaudible][0:01:59.1].

Carol: Yes.

Katie: Here’s how you translate that – using powerful questioning.

“I like sleeping with some fresh air in the morning. What do you think we could do to hit a happy medium where I could have that?”

Carol: Nice.

Katie: Now I turned it back. It’s not a very complicated issue. But I’ve turned it back to something that creates a dialogue or stimulates a dialogue between the two of us – instead of me whining or just putting in it to an end or just saying like, “I don’t want to do this.”

Carol: Well, in that case – you’re making him fix it. And men love to fix things. So he now has to fix the problem and he’ll figure out a way to do it.

Katie: Or something as simple as questioning around the lines of – “Where’s our next meeting?” Instead of – “Let’s have our next meeting in Santa Fe.”

Carol: Right.

Katie: Turn it around – a little question. “Where does everyone want to have their next meeting?”

Carol: Right.

Katie: This is a great example of how men are different than women.

Carol: That’s right.

Katie: Remembering the book that you love which is – “Leadership in the Sexes.” Women will use the technique to draw people and whether there’s some questioning or sensing or empathetic type of skills. But men will see that as a weakness because they go out for the kill, right? So they’ll just say…

Carol: They just make the decision for everybody and they think that’s the way to do it.

Katie: Right. “Here’s where we’re going to have our next meeting.” It’s authoritative. It’s directive. It’s controlling. It gets things said very quickly – which is an asset. Certainly it’s an asset.

Carol: Sometimes.

Katie: That’s right. But a man will see a woman do it in a way that’s collaborative and will see it as a weakness.

Carol: Right. And so that comes back to communication and the differences in the sexes and communication. And if you want to read a good book on that – “Leadership in the Sexes” is great.

But this month, we are going to be reading. And it’s a book called – “Fierce Conversations by Susan Scott.” And it’s achieving success at work and in life – one conversation at a time.

Katie: Great book.

Carol: Yeah. Katie has read it. She loves it and I think it would be good for me because I have a little bit of a hard time having those one on one conversations that require some heavy handedness.

Katie: Backbone? Do you have trouble with that?

Carol: You’d never know it.

Katie: I don’t think so. Okay. I understand. I’m empathetic – to be honest. What do you think? Don’t answer that.

Alright! Other areas of communication that we’ll probably delve into… And those of you that are our free Skirt Strategies members will get this about communication this month. There will be more on the website. Of course, the video will always be on the website – it’s eventually archived.

But those of you that are subscribed monthly members – each week we’ll delve into a little different area of communication. And like I said, we could do that for a year. But this month, we’ll just tap on a few things – probably questioning skills.

I also had in mind that we would be doing some speaking skills – speaking with clarity. There are some tips for getting clear very quickly that are simple and effective.

Carol: Yes, good.

Katie: A friend of mine had a document that he’d signed and given to a secretary. And she wrote down a note. Something about the signature didn’t work.

And so she put a note that said, “You need to resign.” And she put it in front of them and looked and he went, “I need to resign?” And she said, “No, I mean re-sign.”

Written communication – how to be clear with that, some email etiquette, we’ll touch on some of those things for those of you that are doing it on a weekly basis and really getting into it.

Carol: We’d love to have you to member – so get on. And even if you’re a free member, be sure and sign up because we’ll send you these videos every month.

Katie: Right.

Carol: And you’ll be able to sign up for our podcasts.

Katie: And you can see a free podcast each month.

Carol: We have great research on our website. We have some wonderful articles. So please do.

Katie: Free beer. There’s free beer on our website.

Carol: It’s free beer.

Katie: Yeah – always good to know. So we’ll see you all next month. Have a great, great month!

Carol: Bye for now.

Katie: Bye.

 

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